History is the humbling story of our misbegotten inflations. Truth is the corrective story of how we return to exactly who we are. Compassion is a never-ending story of how we embrace each other and forgive ourselves for not accepting our beautifully particular place in the fabric of all there is.” 

~~Mark Nepo’s The Book of Awakening, entry for January 10th titled, “Akiba”.

As a child, I wanted to be many things.

Comedian, magician, ventriloquist, priest, rock & roll singer, guitarist, and artist with crayons or oil paints.

After my father passed when I was age 11, I believed I had to find a career that would help me create a reliable income stream. That led me to believe the dreams of my childhood were foolish, that I was not good enough at any of those things to make a living. All my childhood stuff of “artsiness” faded into a distant memory that I declared was not me.

Instead, I went to college and chose a career to create things of certainty — mathematics, structural engineering, computer programming, and the building of structures for databases and websites. Putting together these puzzles, I served the needs of companies that have hefty balance sheets. My working life created an income stream to build and support my family 3 precious children.

But when I turned 60, an age 1 year older than the age my father passed, I realized the Universe was giving me more years than he had. And what would or could I do with those years?

My Comparing and Competing instincts flared up when I happened to see a photo online of Lake Louise that was taken by my former boss. My thought was “If he can take a photo that good, so can I, and even better!” It pushed me to get a digital camera, and over the next 14 years I made about 46 trips to photograph the many beautiful natural (and structural) national parks and cities. 

Now that I am retired, I have even more time to be “Exactly Who I Am.” Without worrying about money. Without comparing myself to others. To be completely who I am. I use my gifts in photography, humor, and web-building (structure) to share what I can now see is abundant in me.

May beauty bring you awe, humor bring you joy, and structure bring you peace.

In compassion, I embrace my gifts and forgive myself for the times of not accepting my beautifully particular place in the fabric of all there is. 

Well, Hi there! It’s ME! I am HERE!

Yes, it has been a while since my last post in April 2023.

Every year, I declare I am setting a new habit of sending out a post per week. But my posting average over 9 years—that’s since 2015 when I retired and should have had loads of time for this—has been one post every 24 months.

I see now that this is because my inner critic’s voice was busy twisting my beliefs and telling me, “Harry! You don’t believe in competition in art! Furthermore, you haven’t been traveling to any mountains lately! Are your photographs even good enough for anyone to want to see?”

So, what is motivating me now to get back in the saddle again and send posts of my writing and photographs? It is not competition. It is expressing my gift of seeing and sharing the beauty that I capture from the world.

This excerpt from Mark Nepo’s “The Book of Awakening”, passage for December 31, opened my eyes to see my inner critic was full of sh*t!

Isn’t art in all its forms the beautiful trail of our all-too-human attempts to say, again and again, I Am Here. … As far back as we can remember, people of the oldest tribes, unencumbered by civilization, have been rejoicing in being on earth together. Not only can we do this for each other, it is essential. For as stars need open space to be seen, as waves need shore to crest, as dew needs grass to soak into, our vitality depends on how we exclaim and rejoice, “I See You!” “I Am Here!”

Look for me to be here again next Friday, and I’ll look for your comments so “I Can See You!”